Tuesday, December 2, 2008

To Delete or Not Delete: That Is the Question

Deleting numbers from my cell phone has always been one of my favorite dating tacTECHS. Maybe its the superficial closure of clicking yes when the screen on my blackberry asks "Are you sure you want to delete eXeXeX from you phone?" or the fast-forward fantasy to the moment when said romanTECH interest eventually texts again and I can respond with -- "Hey, who is this?" Ahhhhhh, sweet e-venge!

But a few months ago I deleted a pretty significant romanTECH interest from my phone and the scenario has unfolded in a way that is making me question my strategery. Recently, a mild vibe has emerged again between me and this dude and after an unplanned "encounter" at a bar in my hood I knew I'd want to see him later in the night, but was obviously too proud to ask for his digits again. After getting home and hitting romanTECH rock bottom, aka trolling for his # on my Tmobile bill, I resorted to the tackiest of choices: Facebook for blackberry, sending him a simple "?" at about 2:30 am. That Monday, I called out my own randomosity, letting him know that I had no other choice after deleting his number from my phone. To which he, coyly confessed: "I wanted to text you, but I deleted yours too."

So this brings us to the text-istential quesion: To Delete or Not Delete? One of my guy friend's pointed out that he deletes when he doesn't want to be reminded of his old girlfriend everytime he scrolls thru his phone -- afterall the way Dana hovers over his brother Dave on his phone list is almost as annoying as the way she would hover over his friends during college football. Another friend pointed out that deleting never works because he always winds up memorizing the really significant numbers. So even though we haven't completely answered the question, there is something we can learn: deleting people out of our phones is the easy part.


  1. Ahhh...the age old question of deleting. My thought has always been, why delete? Especially if the person is a good time! Who knows, you might want to see them again on a randy night before Thanksgiving Turkey...

    Plus, it really does very little to help a situation. Just because you delete them from your phone doesn't mean you can delete them from your head. Most people delete to protect themselves from some awkward late night drunk dialing anyway...LOL

    Bottom Line:
    If you're gonna delete it, you better mean it.

  2. Too true but funny! Sometimes I leave numbers in my phone to be able to recognize them (and not pick up) if they do call. More as a caller ID than anything else. Then again, if we've reached a certain point in our lives and have significant others, address book clean ups are absolutely necessary. Why keep the number of that certain hookup? Or do you really need the number of your ex-girlfriend who you havent talked to in 4 years? C'mon!!

  3. Hi. Me again.

    As I mentioned on your Facebook profile, I would never delete anyone because there's always that "What if?" factor. I mean, I'm pretty sure there will be a day that you are going to want to boing this beau again and what are you gonna do? Facebook again? BORRRRING. Grow a set and exchange numbers again. Make it a whole "Scene" when you're out next time. Pretend you haven't seen each other in a while and role-play. You are both obviously into each other and I'm bored with the Chuck Bass/Blaire Waldorf situation you have going on.

    In other news, I simply change the names of ex's or people in my phone. For instance, my ex-boyfriend (not the good one, but the bad one) is now in my phone as "Sloth Fuckass" It makes for a great giggle when he calls/texts.

    Fuck him.

  4. I always delete three months or so after a break-up. Just so I can recognize the phone # in case I need to screen because she's calling and I don't want to answer..

  5. I use the strategy of putting ex-interests in mobile phone pergatory by placing a Z in front of their name. Since I don't have any friends named Zoey, this prevents me from having to scroll by their name or god forbid, accidently call my ex-Matt (now ZMatt) instead of my friend Matt. Also, if they every get in contact with me I can avoid being unprepared when I answer an unrecognizable phone number.

  6. I totally delete numbers. It's much easier for me to ignore #s even if I know who it is than to ignore names.

    sometimes there are just those people you WANT out of your life but for some reason keep going back to them.

    There's a reason you deleted him from your phone in the first place. I would go with your first instinct.

  7. I have spent some time debating this, and I am glad I did after seeing the most recent comments.

    Have I deleted numbers? Yes. Sometimes they really don’t serve a purpose, like the random one nighter or brief interlude from a girl a couple time zones away.

    Some numbers deserve to keep their infamy in your registry though. As you get older, most break ups or flings do end rather amicably and you could handle seeing him/her out and about and laugh over inside jokes. Plus, every time you scroll through your phone book while massively hung-over, you can send a coy invite for a morning booty call.

    But what about the rest? What’s the point of deleting a number and being put into the precarious position of seeing them again and some sparks being reignited? There is nothing worse than trolling through old bills or Facebook to find the number. An old friend (ex) of mine says that people cannot change. I used to agree with her, until I changed. So, who is to say that things won’t work out down the road after both parties have changed again?

    Keep the numbers; our cell phones have enough memory now.

    Just don’t drunk dial the ex from years ago that crushed you.

  8. Great post!

    In my experience, if you're a girl who has deleted a guy, let HIM figure out how to get back in touch with you if he wants to. No matter how far we think we've come, the sad truth is guys have to take the lead to value you.

  9. keeping an ex's number just tempts me to text them every time I feel lonely usually making me look like a stalker! but i always end up deleting it from my contacts, then saving it from an old text message again. then deleting it again including the old texts...then finding it from my call list and saving it again...then deleting it from there too...and soon im looking through old phone bills tryna find his number again! (damn i am a stalker!)

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