Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Text with the Ex

What's worse than regretting sex with the ex this Valentine's day? Regreting text with the ex. At least sex with the ex comes with some degree of gratification and you know your feelings are recipricated, for 3-5 minutes anyway.

A text to the ex on the other hand, can be unrequited. It can mention cupcakes and old college t-shirts. It can be forwarded. So this Valentine's Day, before your thumbs decide to do the talking check out TextsFromMyXes a twitter feed that streams real texts from people post breakup, reminding all of us that grand gestures are best left for 80s film icons and Glee episodes. Below is a selection of my favorites. The common denominator? Intense paranoia coupled with a LOT of feelings and hyperbole.

Did you make your Facebook statuses private or is it just blocked from me?

I just drove by your work and honked. Did u hear it? I hope that made u smile.

I hope you can forgive me for ever treating you like anything less than my queen.

Seeing you sober in the deli was the most awkward moment of my life


To overshare your inbox just in time for Valentine's day, send your doozies to TextsFromMyXes@gmail.com. Just don't send them out to your ex.


  1. There it is. Sammi sweetheart. I was soooo her at one point in life. It's disgusting and frightening to think about.

  2. Love it Adrianna! Texting is an artform, and while i feel pretty Picaso when it comes to courtship, even the best keyboard painter is no match for late-night, alcohol-filled, holiday-inspired texting... whatever you punch out is destined to be MESSY. lol.


  3. You guys make me smile!

    SingleMuch: You are my sister from another mother! I too have been Sammi sweetheart(without the benefit of her shiny hair). The worst part is when you are Sammified you actually think its the other person making you crazy.

    Kash: Thanks for reading sir and for the comment! Remember the phrase loose lips sink ships? I think we need a web 2.0 version: loose fingertips, sink relationships (and self-esteem)...

  4. or dont "say anything" at all

  5. I am huge fan of "Seinfeld" and in one particular episode Jerry gives what I think is a brilliant analogy of break-ups: It's like knocking over a soda machine. You don't do it with one push. You have to rock it back and forth a few times before it topples over.

    I've never had a relationship that lasted more than a month that didn't involve some type of post break-up druken text message or phone call. I myself have only done it once in my life, but that alone was enough to make me sympathetic when I've been on the receiving end. I know that typically it's not because a girl misses me or wants to get back together (although it is nice to pretend that I am just such a champ in the sheets that she's ruined for all other men), but rather she misses having SOMEONE and I just happen to be the current manifestation of her lonliness. So whether you are making that druken call or receiving it, remember, no one goes their whole life without being heart broken at least once.

    P.S. 3-5 minutes of gratification Jewels? Who the hell have you dated? You have my deepest sympathies... ;)


  6. Ha VV, I knew somoene would bust me for that reference. You win the prize for most self-aware dater on the market. I agree that more often than not these drunken late night texts messages are more about having a warm body than rekindling a spark. One of my gal pals received a text message just this weekend from an ex asking her "is there still something bewteen us?" -- upon texting him back today and asking with sobriety "do we need to have a talk?" He simply wrote back "nope, sorry bout that." I'm pretty sure he is NOT supressing his feelings.