IM Over This Relationship

In one of the most infamous episodes of Sex and the City, Carrie gets dumped on a post it from Jack Berger. And in one of the most realistic plot lines from the entire series, she goes bat shit crazy. But honestly, who could blame her? If the medium is the message, then his was loud and clear: this relationship means so little to me I will end it on the same sheet of paper I use to jot down my grocery list.

Though I haven't seen this exact scenario play out, I have heard both sexes freak out when they are dumped abruptly over text, email or instant messenger. They usually assume that the person is an a$$hole who doesn't care about them, a p*ssy who is scared of them or so immature that they didn't understand the gravity of the relationship.

While I totally understand their frustration, I have to say that some of the most civil break-ups happen electronically and some of the most unceremonious happen face to face. How do I know? Because they have happened to me. After making plans once to have a guy I was seeing over to cook dinner and watch a movie, he showed up with biscotti and to breakup--he never wanted kids so thought we should stop seeing each other. In shock over his out of the blue bomb, all I could mutter was "but aren't you a Big Brother, that's weird if you don't like kids." We stood in awkwardness as I wondered if he would leave or take the dessert as he deserted my apartment. I haven't spoken with him since.

On the opposite end of the spectrum was a completely "e"-volved break up that I had over IM. He told me he felt like I wasn't making an effort to see him. I said I thought we were growing apart. He said he saw my point and asked if we could still be Facebook friends. I agreed, and we still are to this day. My bottom line: there is NO good way to break up, but know matter what, I'd rather it be over in an Instant.