Tuesday, July 6, 2010

How About We...Get a Grip

The new superficial in dating is not picking a date based on how hot the person is or on how high their earning potential might be–it’s picking someone based on where they are going to take you on your first date. This week the New York Times wrote an article about "How About We," a dating site we talked about in online meet markets a few months back, which works by giving suitors the opportunity to propose various dates with the phrase “How About We…” The text that follows generally resembles a post of the “stuff white people like” variety. For example: “How About We…search for the best Banh Mi in Brooklyn” or “drink Sangria and laugh until the sun comes up.”

Normally I support creative romanTECH endeavors but I just can't get behind a site that puts the cart before the whores (ha) emphasizing the social value of an activity over the person you're suppose to be dating. Hasn't the Bachelor taught us that the notion of the fantasy date is false–we can have the perfect setting, menu and music but still might wind up with Vienna.

As part of their first date investigation, the Times asked "How About We" to share their "date-a-base" and saw that over time in NYC you can even see specific dates trending. As if the faux hipster clip art on the site doesn’t make you feel generic enough now you can trace your date back to a New York magazine article about gourmet meatballs being "the new burger" for foodies in search of the next frontier in beef...

I’m just waiting for a rebel on the site to buck conformity with a realistic entry…you know “How About We…enjoy cheap Italian in my neighborhood and split the check if it doesn't look like you want my cannoli for dessert."


  1. I am reminded of a line from one my favorite guy movies, "Swingers." "For some reason all the cool bars in LA have to be tough to find. So if you tell a chick you've been some place it's like bragging you know how to find it."

    Jewels you've lived in NYC for a while now haven't you? You should know that people here are un-shockable. I could tell someone I spent my Saturday night in the East Village pounding shots of Patron with the President, Charlie Sheen, and Gore Vidal, and I doubt it would elicit even the slightest emotional response. With so many people spanning so many different walks of life, everyone has had to rely on the allure of the date itself to woo potential suitors for fear that the line "I work on Wall Street and went to Duke" might drop you into the generic category. But don't get me wrong, I am as biased against dating web sites as anyone. I am sure people have truly found love using them, but with that many participants how could some matches not be made out of just sheer coincidence. I would be surprised if the success rate on any of these sites is higher than it is for the Pour House on a night when their serving $8 domestic pitchers and 2 for 1 shots.

    By the way I am Italian and have never asked a girl if she wants my cannoli. My sausage, yes... But never cannoli.

  2. Don't you mean the Village "Poor" House???

    Ok some valid points on dating in NYC. You're right, no one wants to be stuck at Tonic East having cocktails out of plastic glasses in case a bar fight breaks out, but I feel like the actual date itself cannot be the reason you hang out with someone.

    When I was little my mom used to tell me that "You can't use Nick Aker for his pool" a neighbor that I really didn't like who used to invite me over to go swimming. Granted I spent a few afternoons alone with my sprinkler, I feel like she was on to something and perhaps the same "rules" should apply to dating.

    I enjoy your comments sir!

  3. Now, see, here's where a feature that says "How about you... sit on my face and let me work you for a couple hours" would save inordinate amounts of game-playing and, I believe, result in better matches.

    Also, hi.