Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Match.com(edy)

A recent trip to San Francisco revealed a few intersting things. First, people there think eating is more important than drinking (what?) and second, the dating scene is (as my friend Stephen would put it) as sexually charged as watching two bagels rub together.

So after slugging back a few cocktails NYC style I took a close GF back to my hotel room. One thing led to another and we -- wrote her a match.com profile. After answering more than 70 questions about her education, hobbies, personality, perfect date, religion, likes and dislikes we were asked to give a 120 character headline that would appear under her name. We landed on a simple "That Girl is Poison" and thought that our work was done. Instead, we were prompted to go through a series of male clip art where she had to pick out objects and people that attracted her most.


It was sort of like some Girl Interrupted experiment where you're asked to look at ink blotches and form shapes to determine if you have psychotic tendancies. But instead, in this case, we had to look at stock imagery of poor man's Patrick Dempseys and lunatics doing sky splits where you have to question if there is a trampoline underneath them or if they are simply just airborn. But at least after an exhaustive process with so much specificity you would expect the site to spit you back some decent candidates. Instead within 24 hours her inbox was flooded with men emailing her from Shakesperian times. A quote from my favorite email: "Whilst being neither acerbic nor abrasive nor judgmental at all, I welcome the energy of a unique, confident, strong, and extremely loving woman into my life with open arms, unbiased preconceived notions, and eager excitement."

Needless to say these Match.com(edy) emails did not find their way into her heart but they did find a special place in my inbox.

4 comments:

  1. i will rub your bagel

    ReplyDelete
  2. When were you recently in SF and why didn't I know about it? LW

    ReplyDelete