Wednesday, March 12, 2008

How Technology Showed Me He Was Wrong For Me

When it comes to technological comunication with your SI (SI=significant other) it is all about TLC and sometimes even TMI. To know you care how my "Mean Girls" presentation went or that I worked till six on my sick day is maybe the only thing that will make it better. To know you wish I was in your bed when I'm not or that you are taking a trip down "memory lane" delivers an intimacy that can trancend the medium that delivers it. Insert sarcasm/humor and IM (I am...ha) yours.

I recently dated a guy that did none of these things which made me realize it would never work. At first I rationalized that generic texts like "good morning," were a sign of his maturity and stability. Afterall he sent them every morning at 9:00 am. But when he started spitting back a dull response -- that usually went something like "busy day, I'll call you later" -- to my rather pithy emails I started to feel like I was dating an out of office message. And guess what, that's no fun. Keep in mind the same guy would take me to wonderful dinners, cook for me, send flowers, the works. But when we weren't together he just couldn't mind the romantic gap.

My boiled down advice to texting and typing suitors:

1. How you communicate when you aren't together is more important than how you communicate when you are together, because when you aren't you don't have the physical glue that makes its easy to feel close.
2. Technology is by nature a cool medium. HEAT it up.
3. No matter how busy you are at the very least stick an XO at the end of your correspondence

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  1. any guy that sends you a text "good morning" is a sacless puke and should be dropped faster than a guy that wears suspenders to bed. Seriously, guys are more horny than a rhino in the morning and if his jimmy were still working, he'd be texting you "good morning, I just sent unborn kids into the carpet thinking of you"

  2. Completely agreed. AND, any straight guy who signs XO should have his head checked. I think it's no longer acceptable to do that to a woman after you're 10 years old.

  3. I couldn't agree more! Something similar happened to me recently. I had 2 amazing dates with this guy- there couldn't have been more chemistry and attraction from both of our parts...but the week-long silences in between and the 48 hrs to respond to my texts KILLED it for me. There is no way to get closer to someone or get to know them well if you never keep in touch in the in-between dates.