The Professional Wingman. Some people say those that can't do teach -- but this guy busts that cliche by teaching dating and actually dating very well. His helpful tips have been featured everywhere from the Wall Street Journal to Maxim, and did I mention he landed himself a little hottie named eFlirtexpert through some strategic twitter flirting? I. Am. Not. Worthy.
Bri-guy, otherwise known as my best friend Brian Martin. He's an MFA student and short-story writer who is lowering his literary standards to blog for us. His keen social observations leave a sting that reverberates somewhere between the Great Gatsby and Heathers. Sorry boys and girls, he's taken.
Nando is a blogger, vlogger, host, entrepreneur, twitterzen of the world and your new Gay BFF. His blog Nandoism gives singles and couples advice on dating, mating and more with a tone that's equal parts motivating and provocative. He's the kick in the a** you just might need to change the way you approach love and sex.
Alan Danzis is a tech junky, blogger and charmer that would win the superlative most likely to check into a date on Foursquare if such a badge actually existed. As a single twentysomething living in Hoboken he has enough dating material to put a Kardashian to shame. Plus he's got a cute smile.
And last, I introduce Mystery Boy. Since dissing someone on a blog can be as bad as contracting an STD these days, his identity will remain annoymous. Cause let's face it--there's no cream that can cure a story about a girl who texts you about her woo woo when she's had 3 glasses of chardonnay.
Let's hear it for the boy-toys!
Fine Tune Your Geek Game Posted by The Professional Wingman.
Let’s face it. Geeks are hot. There’s nothing sexier than a man who knows his way around technology. Don’t believe me? Just ask my girlfriend. She found me on Twitter. And let’s face it guys, lady geeks are damn hot. Some of you may be asking, “What if I am too much of a geek?” Don’t worry, I’m here to not only help you let your geek flag fly, but to use technology to score with the ladies - and we’re not just talking about dating apps.
But first, let’s talk about your in-person game because, even if you have technology to help you out, you need to create the magic face-to-face. If you’re a guy who can’t get it together to talk to that hot girl across the room, here is something I want you to think about. Developing your social skills is like a video game. At the end of every level, you’ll have a boss to battle. The problem is, every time you think you beat the boss, you find out there’s another level and each time, it gets harder. This will always be your battle with women - and it’ll get harder. The cool thing is after every battle, you build up experience points. The higher your points go, the more able you’ll be to win the next battle. Life is a game and you need to embrace it and play to win.
The best way to handle your difficulties with women is to experience talking with them. The next time you see your princess, approach and talk to her. Let her know she caught your attention, so you had to introduce yourself. The more you do it, the more experience points you get. The easier it gets, the further you’ll go. Now, the question lies. Where can you find your princess?
If you’re a reader of this blog, chances are you have a smartphone. That means it probably has GPS-location abilities. The two combined makes for a powerful resource when it comes to finding where women are hanging out. Here are some examples and how you can best use applications you probably use everyday more effectively. If you don’t use them, get your hands on them now!
Foursquare combined with Assisted Serendipity. Foursquare is an amazing application that lets you see where other people are in your vicinity and gives tips for certain locations. It also lets you know what places are “trending,” meaning there’s a lot of people there. But wouldn’t it be cool to know if there are a lot of women there? Or better yet, wouldn’t it be amazing if you were told when the gender ratio “tips” in your favor? Welcome Assisted Serendipity. This web application will not only notify you by email when the ratio you set is met, but it will also show you at least 3 of the people who are there. Select up to 10 venues you enjoy going to and let them do the rest. This is definitely the easiest way to know where to go on any given night.
UrbanDaddy. When it comes to planning a night out or a date, you need a few ideas to get your brain going. I’ve always used this application to find great date spots for my girlfriend or to take her to another place (hence the title, “The Next Move”), but it’s also useful to find locations that are great for meeting women. Just choose from the many options and the app will give you a ton of possible locations. These locations come with map directions and a brief description of what to expect. Not bad as a last resort for figuring out your plans for the night.
SCVNGR is another great location-based application with a growing user base. But what makes SCVNGR special is the ability to create your own challenges for certain venues. If your buds knew they’ll get points towards a deal at a venue, they’ll be more motivated to interact with the ladies.
With all of the tech in our lives, it makes sense to embrace it and use it to get you...well, you know. Let your geek flag fly, boys.
*These apps are not meant to follow women around in a stalker-way, but to know where you should be going to better your chances to meet women.
Has Online Dating Affected Our Offline Game Posted by Alan Danzis
Most people that have met me more than a few times refuse to believe me when I tell them I'm a really shy person. Sure, I did musicals as a kid (yes, I admit, I have copies of them all). I do new business all the time. And I go on a lot of online dates. None of those things scare me--after the first ten seconds of course (I'm only human). I didn't go on my first date until I was quite a bit older than most people--don't worry, I was still in my teens. I also didn't have a girlfriend until much later either. It was because I was really afraid to approach girls--like deathly afraid. And I still am.
Online dating is easy. I didn't have it back then. But clearly, we all do now. You blindly email someone who looks cute. If she responds, awesome. If not, who cares. You completely forgot she existed anyway, because there's like 100 more for you to email...
Approaching a girl in a bar is different. You WILL remember that rejection. It'll fade over time--most will--but in that moment, you're still terrified of it.So this year, I did a New Year's resolution. Here's the rules:
If I am in a bar...
And I'm not on a date...
And I see a group of at least two girls...
Without any guys around them that might be boyfriends...
I must approach them at least one potential scenario a night--so after I've met my obligation, I don't have to "play" the rest of the night if I don't want to. Since New Year's Day, I've "played" my resolution four times. I'm not going to go into the particulars of how I did, or even if I've gone out on actual dates with any of the girls, but here's what I learned: all of the conversations lasted at least ten minutes. Whether they stopped because I got bored or they did--that's irrelevant. Clearly, people do want to talk to other people in a bar if they're just there with one or two friends.
Having a line helps, but it doesn't have to be an original one. On my second approach, which took place on New Year's day night, I spotted three girls at a bar, sitting down, while I was out with a few of my friends. They seemed pretty into their conversation, so I didn't feel comfortable just going up and talking to the one I liked. So, I called the bartender over, and sent down one beer to JUST the girl I liked. When she got it, and the bartender told her it was from me, she smiled and I smiled back. I waited about three minutes before I walked down to talk to her. My line? "I was going to come over sooner, but honestly, my friends all had terrible lines for me to use." Throwing your friends under the bus -- with their permission of course! -- is usually a win-win in lines if you do it right. I'll admit, I've done it three out of four times. Don't let your friends come over right away. Do the approach on your own -- it shows you're not a wussy, which of course I am, but the girls don't need to know that. Your friends should come over four to five minutes later, on their own, without your prompting. You're too interested in your new friends after all...I hope my new approach helps other guys (and even girls) out there that have gotten so accustomed to the ease of "picking up" people online, that they're now terrified to do it in person. Have any tips for me on my next approach? Drop me a tweet at @adanzis.
Text Me if It's Good Posted by Brian Martin
When I was in college and through my early twenties my least favorite saying was “text me it it’s good.” We all had that friend, and if you’re reading this now and think you didn’t have that friend –it’s you.
I thought my days of being the Lewis & Clark for social toe dippers were over until my boyfriend and I decided to host a New Years Eve party on the roof of our building overlooking downtown SF. The problem was the roof fit 50 people max. Now, that may not seem like that big of a problem but go ahead and count up your friends who would rather go to a house party than paying 100 dollars to listen to a Black Eyed Peas song at some bar they could normally get into for free. Go ahead…I’ll wait. More than you thought?We put together a guest list, which I’ll admit was much easier with Facebook invite. We quickly realized we couldn’t invite everyone and knew that making the event “public” could hurt friends in two ways: 1. making the event public and appearing on their newsfeed letting them know one of their close friends had just RSVPd to an event they didn’t get invited to 2. a more catty but still valid dis – letting people who were invited check out the list and see you were not on it. So in an attempt to do the right thing, we closed the guest list…and all hell broke lose.
First it was the passive aggressive comments on the event page “I don’t know if I can go if I can’t see the guest list” or “My how exclusive,” each one smoothed over with a lol, smiley face or extended hahaha’s. Then people started calling us to say “Ok I get why you did it, but really, why can’t you just let me see.” It didn’t bother me at first because I felt I understood. I mean it’s New Years Eve, single girls wanted to know if single guys would be there, single gays wanted to know if attractive guys would be there and couples wanted to know there’d be a cheese plate. But as the comments piled up and I found myself deflecting them left and right, I began to blame…technology. If this were seven years before and I had just called people to let them know or sent them an email this would never have been an issue.
Now, when we get to view not only who is attending, who is not and those awful maybe people, we also get to see their latest five photos, where they work, where they went to school and that they’re a fan “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” This lead me to blame the Facebook invite for creating the ultimate “text me if it’s good.” And now my party was the unknown terrain to be tested by the socially brave or less discriminatory. Was I not enough? Did my friends need more than to see my boyfriend’s name and me on the invitation to be enticed?
If they didn’t want to come they didn’t have to. It turned out fine, better than fine actually. Everyone came and we packed the roof, it didn’t rain and all was merry. But as I reflect on this blog post I have to close with the admission of my one hypocrisy.
I always click “attending” when I get an invite to celebrate a colleagues birthday with a happy hour at a Mexican restaurant across town or an invitation to a karaoke bar to raise money for someone’s run or bike or swim to find a cure for something. But when that date nears I find myself, without any guilt, checking whose “attending” before I decide to go. I don’t mean any harm by it, it’s just a luxury of technology and more simply, it’s just the way it is now.
Why Don't We Sext Anymore?
Did you ever look over at your significant other and say "why don't we sext anymore?" Even if you're not there yet, Nando's prolific tips will be a good reminder that even though your status may be "in a relationship" it's still important to poke each other once in a while. Check him out.
Posted by Nando
For more spicy advice check out Nando's site Nandoism or go to Youtube and watch him get a butt facial.