A Hopeful Romantech

Why is it that we want our e-dentities to show the present but our identies have to bare the burden of our past?

I've had a recent break up. And it's very fresh. But over the past six months this sureal-ationship has not only taken over my life but it's taken over my Facebook newsfeed, shaped my photo albums and can explain why my blog posts have been more MIA than Paper Planes. I did expect that this would hurt. But I did not expect that it would give me a fear of facebook. A fear of seeing that person is now "listed as single" first and a fear of looking at pics labeled "into 09" as a memory versus part of my life.


The control freak in me wants to untag myself from the past 6 months and return to the days where my e-dentity was shaped by albums that read "San Funcisco" and "If it Ain't Hobroken Don't Fix It" -- but the truth is these photos and experiences have changed me and though they can technically be deleted they cannot truly be erased.

So bare with me as these photos remain fixed while that sad little broken heart pops up on my news feed and my status changes. Luckily, even though I have been on a blogging-sabbatical technology continues to evolve and with it so does romance. New mediums provide new possibilities and remind me that our newest "tweet"hearts could be just 140 characters away. So don't you worry, no matter what has happened I remain a hopeful romanTECH.

The New MILFs...

I assume that any one I date is going to do their diligence and e-search me via Facebook and Google -- I actually find it flattering. But what can be unflattering is when the moms of romanTECH interests follow suit and do the same.

Now don't get me wrong, though my mother would never join "MyFace" or "Spacebook," I love and support these new MILFs (Moms I Like to Facebook) and enjoy the novelty of posting inside jokes and virtual thank you notes on my friend's moms' pages that have recently joined. "Dear Ann - Missing you and the lazy river. Now only if you'll sign the adoption papers."


But when my STEADY and EXTRA special romanTECH interest revealed that his mom is on Facebook and has searched my e-dentity online, I had a mild melt down. Maybe its because my profile pic features another guy nestled against my chest and if you google me the first thing that comes up is a spirits publicist profile where I state that it takes 3 drinks before I get "tipsy." And you thought the "about me" section on your now defunct Friendster profile revealing that your words to live by are: "work hard, play hard" was embarassing.

Now I know what you're thinking: "don't worry about your Facebook, worry about this blog." And your mostly right. But I feel like its hard to compartmentalize these days, so if she is reading my Facebook then she has likely found her way here and all I can say is: can't wait to see you on Saturday, let me know if I can bring dessert.

Holiday "e"-unions

The holiday season yields as much contemplation as celebration. I blame it on left over vacation days that pile up to mini-sabbaticals, long train rides home and Definitely, Maybe ON DEMAND -- but, one can't help but feel nostalgic when riffling thru their inbox to find sweet communications from romanTECH loves past that make it oh so tempting to romanticize these relationships. If only he didn't ask me to order our movie tickets on Fandango and then never offer to pay....

In the spirit of the season, my inbox has been hit with some out of the blue communications from romanTECH interests-08. But are these "e"-unions sincere or the result of office closings until January 5th leaving ex boos with time on their hands to plot a last minute New Year's ball drop?


From simply stated "Merry Christmas" emails to obvious "wishing you the best this season" group texts from guys I haven't talked to since I got bangs -- I first thought these gestures were borderline obnoxious, but after more contemplation I realized that this sneaky tacTECH likely yields some serious romanTECH ROI. On the upside if your ex responds positively and things reignite you may not wind up at an all inclusive New Year's celebration at Capitale again. And if you don't hear back you could always rationalize by telling yourself that they thought they were receiving a group text and decided not to respond because it was so impersonal. Afterall, it's important to put in some effort.

To Delete or Not Delete: That Is the Question

Deleting numbers from my cell phone has always been one of my favorite dating tacTECHS. Maybe its the superficial closure of clicking yes when the screen on my blackberry asks "Are you sure you want to delete eXeXeX from you phone?" or the fast-forward fantasy to the moment when said romanTECH interest eventually texts again and I can respond with -- "Hey, who is this?" Ahhhhhh, sweet e-venge!


But a few months ago I deleted a pretty significant romanTECH interest from my phone and the scenario has unfolded in a way that is making me question my strategery. Recently, a mild vibe has emerged again between me and this dude and after an unplanned "encounter" at a bar in my hood I knew I'd want to see him later in the night, but was obviously too proud to ask for his digits again. After getting home and hitting romanTECH rock bottom, aka trolling for his # on my Tmobile bill, I resorted to the tackiest of choices: Facebook for blackberry, sending him a simple "?" at about 2:30 am. That Monday, I called out my own randomosity, letting him know that I had no other choice after deleting his number from my phone. To which he, coyly confessed: "I wanted to text you, but I deleted yours too."

So this brings us to the text-istential quesion: To Delete or Not Delete? One of my guy friend's pointed out that he deletes when he doesn't want to be reminded of his old girlfriend everytime he scrolls thru his phone -- afterall the way Dana hovers over his brother Dave on his phone list is almost as annoying as the way she would hover over his friends during college football. Another friend pointed out that deleting never works because he always winds up memorizing the really significant numbers. So even though we haven't completely answered the question, there is something we can learn: deleting people out of our phones is the easy part.

Relationship Status: It Sure Is Complicated

Posting your relationship status on Facebook is actually pretty complicated. Even though I'm technically single I've always opted out of the selection, in hopes of creating more intrigue on my romanTECH endeavours. I recognize my blog has blew up my spot there...

But enough about my issues, let me tell a more interesting romanTECH tale of two friends: After a long-winded courtship where this lovely lady was forced to police her romeo, she finally locked it up on Halloween weekend with a HOT cop costume. That weekend he became a prisoner of her love and asked her to be his official girlfriend. The catch? He did it via Facebook status, simply changing his to read: "In a Relationship." Could anything be more romanTECH than digital sky-writing blasted across his newsfeed??? Well maybe if he hyperlinked to her....



But these strategies can also backfire. Another friend recently took the plunge updating their status to: "In a relationship," which induced a slew of comments on his wall from "this should last as long as your interest in Bikram Yoga" to the blatant "HAHAHAHAHAHA, when will these people learn?" You'll be surprised to know his relationship and status are still in tact. Seems like his other half does in fact believe people can change. Their status anyway.

But what I really wonder is if changing status is a purely romanTECH gesture? Or is it a self-inflicted digital cock-block really meant to ensure other romanTECH interests don't tempt us? Kind of like an anorexic dumping salt all over their food so they don't eat it. Okay that's not a pretty metaphor, but I bet you get it.

Texting Baracks!

Now that we have a president in place that knows how to text message properly, everything else should be cream cheese. Can you name that movie?


Just a quick shout-out for our president-elect for using some of our favorite courting tacTECHS to campaign for American hearts. If you haven't signed up you can still receive updates from Barack via text or twitter: Obama Mobile

Putting the ate into Date...

On a lark the lovely people at Michelin let me test drive their new 2009 restaurant guide in exchange for a little taste of the NYC dating scene. My observation: dating in Manhattan yields many text messages, IMs and Facebook wall posts but not that many appetizers, main courses and desserts. To find out what happens when my dates go beyond 3 vodka sodas, check it out:
Michelin Guides



Special thanks to my 3 HDs (hot dates) for being such good sports. Hugs: best first date ever. Franks: don't kill me. P-did: glad we got some QT, cutie. XOXO