Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Sex Messaging

"Do you have a h*rd *n?" she texted. Funny, (I know) but during a recent converstation on text messaging one of my girlfriends confessed to using astericks when she was embarassed of what she was saying, or rather typing, to the guy she was seeing.

I am not a prudish person, but for me, the world of "sex messaging" opened unintentionally, like a series of NSFW Web sites after a google search titled "sexy Halloween costumes." It started with a fairly innocent text to the guy I was seeing at the time: "getting into my bed, wish you were in it." My subtley provocative lines were followed by an enthusiastic "why? what would you want to do to me if I were there." Jeeeeeez, I was left at a crossroad. In a shameless attempt to buy time I typed "that'll be $2.99 for the first minute, $.99 for each additional minute." Meanwhile, I was plagued with questions: Would I go there? Am I really this uptight and too nervous to type something I do on a regular basis? What followed was the technical equivalent of a little dir-tay talk. It was surprisingly easy and dare I say sexy once I got just took me a minute to get over myself.

I floated my conversation by friends of both sexes and almost everyone agreed that "sex messaging" is basically table stakes in the dating game these days (so either it's a trend or I have a bunch of slutty you guys)! A male co-worker of mine said that "it removes pain rejection and embarassment, it's better to feel stupid by yourself then next to the person you are having sex with." While some of the gals seem to have a different take, "if I don't feel like going across town, its an easy way out." For me, I think "sex messaging" has given new meaning to the concept of "safe sex," allowing us a low risk way to communicate and explore unchartered territory with our partners. Somehow when words are transmitted via a phone or blackberry we have a technological accomplice, a buffer, that allows us to be a little removed from what we are saying. I mean worst comes to worst you can delete an overly frisky text from your sent messages file, because if its not there then it never happened right?

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  1. It's the new AIM romance! Remember when you broke up, hooked up and fell in love over AIM? Sex Messaging is the perfect way to plant a "seductive" seed in your lovers mind... without having to make a bold gesture and risk rejection.

    Plus - maybe he just never got the text, right?

  2. Just talking with Jewels herself and sex messaging still happens post-single life. Helps keep things interesting in married life too! Not all communicating after married life is "hey honey can you pick up some bread on the way home?" :)

  3. "Sex Messaging" is standard fare in my gay world. I don't think a day goes by where I don't get at least one text from some one-night somebody saying "What's up?" and clearly wondering if I'm horny.

    It's just the next step after we all cybered on ICQ and AOL in the 90s.

    Loved this topic, Jewels!