Friday, July 11, 2008

Are You Trying to Network or Date Me?

Technology allows us to create networks and relationships faster then we can say "Wanna Be My Facebook" friend, but is this good news or bad news for our romanTECH connections? Once upon a time a guy used to get a girl's number because he wanted to date her. But now he may follow up for a variety of obnoxious reasons including career advancement..."do you have a contact at Wired magazine" or worst case scenario: she has a hot friend.

This morning I talked to a co-worker and had a bit of an A-ha-ha moment: our ability to network is adding a barrier to understanding our "suitors" intentions. How many gals have met a guy of interest at a party or bar and left frustrated at the lack of digits requested, only to be greeted by a Facebook request from them 48 hours later. These signals can be confusing. Are you trying to find your cousin an internship or eventually get into my pants?

My co-worker "L" told me a highly entertaining story about a group-texting tale that illustrates the phenomenon of "net-working-it." "L" was at a party with a girlfriend where they both met the same guy through a group of friends and both, unknowingly, gave him their digits. Interestingly L didn't feel any romance, but obliged because honestly its more awkward to say no. During the post-mortum discussion with her girlfriend L mentioned the text she received: "hey it was great to meet you last night" which was met with a chuckle when her girlfriend revealed identical "text" on her RAZR from the same guy. They both laughed at this loser-08 who was so obviously working the room for leads it was like he was at a career fair. And appropriately his follow-up was as impersonal as a cut and pasted interview thank-you with the wrong name in the heading.

Having fallen prey to this oddd phenomenon of blurred dating and networking tactics I have one message to dudes: like us for the important stuff, like because we're hot.


  1. Yeah those young, hot, successful, single women in NYC really have it rough when to comes to guys approaching them with ulterior motives... Try being a guy who works in finance in a city full of women obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw hoping to land a "Mr. Big" clone, and then get back to me... In general we're a society fixated on "who do you know, and what can you do for me..." Networking has become common verbiage, which pisses me off to no extent... You can't just meet someone today and appreciate them for who they are...

  2. This is an interesting situation as it leads me to ask a question, which may not wash over well with our lovely blogger J, but here it goes...Haven't women used the flirtatious tools at their disposal to get what they want since the dawn of time? Why shouldn't a man be allowed the same deck of cards to play with? This guys problem seems to be that he doesn't have a good poker face - not that he's playing a sinister game.

  3. I think the real point is intention...are you calling/texting because you wanna F or are you looking for new employment?? Let's just be up front with what we are doing...Beer and a resume slip or wine and a "can you take a look at my new logo" are not dates...Dates are two people going out with the intention of sex. At least that's what it's been for the last 32 years of my life! Sorry, no crying for bankers, lawyers,'s been a man's world forever---It may be our turn..hahaha

  4. J, your insight is keen and truthful, but it is about time men get an even field to play on. Trolling bars and parties for women to get numbers is easy, getting past the ambigous "does she want to smoke my pole or be friends," is the difficult part.