The two archetypes I encounter most frequently are Prepster at a Function aka "date me and your future will be filled with matching your dresses to my bow tie collection and fetching me Glenfidich" and The Wacky Fun Guy Shot aka "I swear I didn't stage this photo, my life is really just this spontaneous and crazy." Right, and I just didn't untag myself out of six unflattering Facebook pics from an album titled "Too Legit to Quit."
Noticably missing from the list however are:
Man's Best Friend - a classic PG pose, which shows potential love interests that "if you take me home the worst that can happen is I'll mistake your leg for another golden retreiver."
Always a Groomsmen, Never a Groom - a smug, passive agressive way to tell the world "better him than me."
I'm with Alyssa Milano - any facebook profile shot with an actress that played a hot girl next door character (Wanda from Doogie Houser; Winnie Cooper from Wonder Years, etc) likely inducing the profilers first "shwing" tells potential suitors that "I have arrived."
**Disclaimer: All three guy-friends pictured above have not been harmed in the writing of this entry.
One more to consider: The “Best Picture I’ll Ever Take in My Life and I’m Never Changing My Profile Picture Again” shot…
ReplyDeleteit’s the one where the light hit you just the right way so that you happen to look like a cross between Brad Pitt and Will Smith (which is nearly impossible to pull off). It was of course taken 10 years, 30 pounds/3 dress sizes and two receding hairlines ago (if applicable)…
What about the "World Traveler Sophisti-Pic" in front of [insert world landmark - Eiffel Tower, Sydney Opera House, Angkor Wat] which indicates I'm worldly, have seen it all, and probably have a guy/gal in every port-o-call
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