Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Shittiest Match from OK Stupid

I'm really not an online date hater, but the sh*t show that is being served up from OK Cupid is enough to make a straight girl tap the 2010 celesbian trend. Case in point one of my readers forwarded me a "QuickMatch" email that arrived in her inbox from the site.

Note the casual, conversational and patronizing tone they use to tell you that their are nine crappy people interested in you--and wait for it--one actually crapped in their pants. Maybe he's trying to be funny or has been dumped too many times and decided too return the favor. FAIL.

"One of these 9 people just gave you high marks (4 or 5 stars) on QuickMatch. Congratulations! If you give high marks to the same guy who chose you, we'll let you both know you match. If not, no biggie. Click anyone below to start playing or click here to login instantly. Somewhere in the first few people you rate will be your potential match."


11 comments:

  1. You mean there weren't any good matches on the on-line dating site? How can that be? I've seen the commercials. It's always two fantastically good looking people who are wildly successful and have to resort to on-line dating because they simply don't have the time to meet anyone worthwhile. Are you saying that depiction isn't accurate Jewels? - New thing I am trying called sarcasm.

    I equate on-line dating to going to bars on the UES like Tin Lizzy's or Dorian's. You've been there a 100 times for some unexplainable reason and you know exactly what to expect, but somehow you're always shocked at the people you see and meet. The group of slightly overweight "WOO" girls who work themselves into a frenzy when a Ke$ha song starts to play, and the douche bag guys who are 2nd year analysts from Morgan Stanley with striped collared shirts that look like they may have commited multiple date rapes.

    Now I don't want to criticize Jewels, but it takes balls to try on-line dating and then complain about how horrible the matches are. That's like a burglar breakng into someone's home and complaining how there's nothing valuable to steal. Isn't the fact that you're on a dating site indicative of your own desperation? Either that or your own short comings or social ineptitudes? If you can't spot the sucker at a poker game, guess what...

    Now I'll grant you that from the looks of it this is definitely a B-list cast of characters, but again, if you throw a hungry dog a bone do you really give a shit what it tastes like? No pun intended.

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  2. Anonymous: I would assume that given your great disdain for online dating that you are a wildly successful and attractive individual who attracts men/women like lint to velcro and thus has no need for any contrived dating tools.

    So, you must either be in a happy committed relationship or going on a different date each night with the creme de la creme of your city. Which is odd, because your "sarcasm" is actually beyond sardonic in this rant, and you sound like a very angry person - not one in either such position...

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  3. Guys you slay me! But I seriously believe that there is no stigma to online dating, my hottest of single friends male and female are on at least 2 different sites. I liken it to a marketing plan -- You need a direct to consumer strategy (meeting live), a PR strategy (having friends set you up and sing your praises) and a digital strategy (online dating).

    I am not saying that everyone needs to be as babe-a-licious as the new 90210 cast, but I am saying that everyone should at least wipe themselves. Thoughts?

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  4. My "sarcasm is actually beyond sardonic." Lindy I'll bet your big Fran Lebowitz fan. Me too. I have neither anger nor disdain for anyone on an on-line dating site, which I can only assume includes you based on your rather presumptious and mocking response. I have no doubt that they're littered with wonderful people. Having said that, what is annoying is anyone who is blithely naive and delusional. As though somehow taking 10 minutes to fill out a profile and upload a few pics is going to preclude you from having to sift through a bunch of "losers." My point, which was obviously lost on you, is that there is no shortcut. And if your foolish enough to get swept up into the idea of meeting your prince charming moments after your done coming up with clever quips and observations to put on your profile then maybe you need to ask yourself why you're single in the first place. In your case I think I can guess...

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  5. Perhaps 'Anonymous' is one of the gentlemen in the picture and is actually thoroughly offended about being compared to a man who shit himself??

    I am never surprised that the biggest haters never have the balls to actually use their own name. If you're going to have an opinion at least own it.

    I also find it interesting that you have such a strong opinion about online dating. I'm pretty sure someone NOT participating in it, who takes the time to write so much about it is a much bigger loser than anyone on the sites.

    I think we understand your point...we just think it's an asshole's point of view. :)

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  6. I equate on-line dating to going to bars on the UES like Tin Lizzy's or Dorian's. You've been there a 100 times for some unexplainable reason and you know exactly what to expect, but somehow you're always shocked at the people you see and meet. The group of slightly overweight "WOO" girls who work themselves into a frenzy when a Ke$ha song starts to play, and the douche bag guys who are 2nd year analysts from Morgan Stanley with striped collared shirts that look like they may have commited multiple date rapes.

    I laughed out loud, LOLd if you will, at this. I live a couple blocks from both places and often pass them when I'm going to the gym or coming home. Anon's description is dead on.

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  7. I'm laughing at anonymous too (and also think his/her comment is pretty accurate.) Why do people feel the need to read "anger" into every witty or well-delivered sarcastic point.

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  8. I am never surprised that the biggest haters never have the balls to actually use their own name. If you're going to have an opinion at least own it.

    I'm sorry, but writing an anonymous comment on a blog is no different than blogging anonymously. I've seen some pretty hateful stuff on blogs written by people who blog under an alias. I'm not sure why that's so widely embraced by the dating blogger community but anonymous "hater" comments are so reviled. Can't have it both ways.

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  9. wow -- this guy started a sh*t show in more ways then one!

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  10. I don't think that at all. I think the comment about your desperation was hypothetical, not a personal attack. Shouldn't blogs be about discourse?

    I liked Anon's comment, if only because it wasn't another "Oh My God! You're So! Right!" comment that you see all over the dating blogsosphere. That's what happens when (I assume) non-bloggers write comments. You get honesty. Good for you for allowing it and not resorting to some snotty personal attack.

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  11. When I referenced the guy that started the sh*t sho, I meant the guy that sh*t his pants and uploaded it as his profile and inspired the post ;) I love when people get feisty, that is when the fun begins. Once I got dumped, wrote about it and one of my followers told me I had it coming because I over share my life. I got a tough skin. I'm from jersey. xo

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