A Very Public Display of Affection

As our social circles multiply online they give way to a very grand type of PDA. You know the one where your 400 plus friends read your Friday status update and know that you are “counting down till pookie gets here from LA”. Sure you want your cutie to see it, but it also doesn’t hurt that X BFs and GFs see that you are in a relationship so solid that someone would pay $400 to see you for a weekend.

But displaying your affection for someone digitally can also go horribly wrong. Recently a girlfriend of mine had a serious wake-up call—after being involved in a 5 month relationship she woke up at 6:00 am to a series of very public messages from her ex. That’s right, instead of being in her inbox they were displayed across her Facebook wall. The first booze induced message was a simple “hey sexy” but the next few evolved into messages like “where are you” and of course the most dramaTECH of all, “come back to me.” She quickly deleted the posts and prayed to the Facebook for blackberry gods for getting her these messages before her boyfriend had a chance to see them and jump to ill conclusions.

Whew, right? Well let these public displays of affection be a warning to all of us: A)Nothing good happens (on Facebook) after 2am and B) If you do want to write something off the wall to a romanTECH interest then let's well keep it off-the-wall.

The Drunken Text Message Coalition on Facebook

Someone (quite possibly my soulmate) has started a Facebook group for Drunken Text Messaging. They categorize different genres of drunk texting from blatant booty calls to feeler texts which sound similar to the group texting that we've discussed. Though they touched on black out texting, they forgot to highlight its evil twin block out texting...You know when people claim to have ZERO recollection of sending you an out of context sex message but were simultaneously sober enough to break their record high on Photo Hunt. I digress.. anyway, chiggity check it. I love it. Join with me! Drunken Text Message Coalition

A Case of a Mistaken Text

For people living outside of Manhattan, the end of a date presents three options:
1)Play by the rules and pony up for a $40 cab back to your borough.
2)Spend the night at your date's Manhattan apartment because the thought of a cab ride thru a dimly lit tunnel makes you more nauseous than the sipping tequila you downed at dinner. Let them know you are only staying because "you can't make it home" and therefore will only permit a limited amount of shenanigans.
3)Go for it and proudly wipe the black eyeliner from under your eyes as you walk to the Path train the next morning.

Late last summer after a fun Tuesday night with the guy I was seeing, I hopped a cab from the Fat Black Pussy Cat to 128 Adams Street, my old Hoboken address. Within about 10 minutes of the ride I heard the da-ding of my text which elicited a Pavlovian-like stomach flip. I opened my phone expecting a sweet message of the "had fun...get home safe" variety. You'll understand my surprise when I saw:

"F that, she went back to Hoboken. Be home soon"

If its possible, I felt flattered, objectified and entertained all at the same time. I texted back:

"Clearly that message was about me but not meant for me....HA! Think you meant your roomate"

He responded "Woops, I'm really sorry about that. Let's hang this weekend."

Interestingly I didn't hold his techno-pas against him. He turned what could have been a deal-breaker into one of the more honest conversations I had ever experienced via text. I thought that if in one night I could realize that a guy liked me enough to be disappointed that I left and still man enough to ask me out after he clearly made an ass out of himself, maybe I should have stayed with him that night afterall. Then again if I did, I would have never realized he really liked me. Yes, I recongnize the irony there.

text message , mistaken text ,bridge and tunnel ,

Dan Dunn on Technology, Dating and Imbibing

I am over the moon that my good buddy Dan Dunn agreed to do a Q&A for the blog. Dan (pictured here), the Imbiber, is more than a pretty face, he is the beloved booze columist for AM New York, author of the greatest story ever told Rehab is For Quitters, and single last time I checked his Facebook status. Below you'll find his take on internet stalking, One Night in Paris and of course drunk texting/blackberrying. Take it away Dan.

Does technology make dating BETTER or WORSE?
The simple answer is that technology makes dating BWORSE, which is a combination of better and worse. Another way of looking at it is that technology makes dating WORSETTER, which is a combi... er, you get the idea.

Ways that technology makes dating better:
1. Thanks to a radical new invention called the cell phone, you are always just a push of a speed dial button away from the person/people you're dating
2. Internet cameras add a whole new visually stimulating element to the late-night phone call, if you catch my drift
3. Dating websites like Match and Eharmony make connecting with people you're compatible with a whole lot easier.

Ways that technology makes dating worse:
1. Thanks to a radical new invention called the cell phone, you are always just a push of a speed dial button away from the person/people you're dating
2. Enough with the fucking text messages already!
3. Dating websites like Match and Eharmony make connecting with people you're compatible with a whole lot easier. That is, until you actually meet them in person and spend time getting to know them. Then you discover they're bigger fucking losers than the drunks you usually meet in bars.

What is the most EVIL impact technology can have on dating?
Stalking seems to be a whole lot easier these days. Oh, and in case you missed it earlier, enough with the fucking text messages already!

What is the BEST way technology can impact dating?
Three words: Naked. Photos. Instantly.

As a writer do you find romancing girls via pithy e-mails works?
No, but as a pithy emailer, I've found work writing via romantic girls. Does that make sense? I hope not.

What happens when you mix technology, dating and imbibing? Yay or nay?
Paris Hilton's MySpace page. Seriously though, its yay all the way! What could be smarter than sending someone you'll probably know for a total of a week a long rambling drunken email that they will permanently save on their computer. While your at it, send some naked photos...it only takes an instant.