Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Positive Facebook Effect

This week All and Online Dating University released an infographic to sort out all the ways that Facebook affects personal relationships. The full data visualization is on Mashable, but the portion that focuses on romantic relationships can be seen below. While I appreciate the efforts, I have to be honest, it's a bit of downer, focusing more on the negative aspects like jealousy, public humiliation and stalking exes. 

Now you know that I'm no Suzy Sunshine, but what about all the positive things Facebook does for your romantic life? Consider this spin backlash to the Facebook backlash or blame it on one of my fave bloggers Jen Kirsch of BlondeBronzedTwentySomething for starting a string on twitter to celebrate how you know when a guy is into you--but today I am inspired to write about the positive aspects of Facebook. In addition to giving us the ability to flirt with multiple prospects and fact check people we meet on dating sites it can even show us if a guy really "likes" us. How, you ask? Just read between the lines:

1. He writes on your friends' walls for their birthdays

2. He Facebook chats you the moment you log on

3. He tags himself in your photo albums 

4. He tags you in his Facebook places updates

5. He defriends his ex in a show of solidarity

6. He makes the two of you his profile picture

7. He writes overly optimistic status updates after your dates (ex: "never noticed how beautiful the NYC skyline is at dusk" or "Does anyone else love that Raise Your Glass song?")

8. His mom friends you (see MILFS - Moms I Like to Facebook)


  1. He "likes" pictures of you from years ago aka he's gone through all of them...

  2. 100% I love that and it totally happens. When I started dating my current man on our second date he was like "you used to be blonde." Translation: I trolled your Facebook pics from 2007.

  3. This is aptly timed. I just, for the first time in months, checked the FB page of a guy I used to hook up with. I was shocked at what I saw.

    It was a picture of him and his "new girlfriend." He had just broken up with his LT/Live in girlfriend of about 3 years in December, and I think - based on conversations we had had just a month ago - he began dating the new woman in April. The minute I saw it I thought of his ex and how that must have devastated her. His ex and I have mutual FB friends, so I looked at her page. Sure enough, she had changed her profile photo this week to be of her and some guy. I had to laugh at the drama of it all, but then I remembered what it was like to see your ex with someone else, even months later.

    I felt bad for her. Dating someone a month or two, just a few months after you break up with a long term partner, and making a photo of you kissing your new GF/BF your primary profile pic? Just seems cruel and passive aggressive. Like he was saying "See how happy I am now????"

    There's so many downsides to Facebook and Twitter in regards to dating. It just feels like people use both platforms as a way to stick it to their exes.

  4. Moxie!! Thanks for the comment lady its good to hear from you. Totally agree that Facebook can be the deadliest weapon of all because it truly has become public humiliation.

    One of my guy friends dated a girl for four years and they just broke up. In an attempt to make a "clean break" (although that is sort of an oxymoron) he untagged himself out of all of her pictures. They just got back together a few weeks ago and had to retag himself in all of her pictures and all of our friends gave him so much SHIT, commenting on the pictures and calling him out on his wall. Keep in mind this is all in front of him co-workers and his parents who are all linked to him on Facebook. FAIL

    Bottom line: like a reality tv show you can edit your Facebook profile to say or show whatever you want but that doesn't mean it's real.

  5. Thanks for the mention. At the end of the day, it's about what goes on in all areas of the relationship. Online affection has become a part of relationships, because it has become such a big part of our daily lives.

    As my Tweetfest the other day showed, there are so many little ways that your man can show he cares (offline, online, in person, in 'reality') - and those little things create the dynamic and type of relationship you share.

    Great post, Lady!

  6. Thanks lady! I often go negative but you definitely encouraged me to look at the bright side on this one. Thanks for being so wise! xo